Elephants, Sidewalks, and Whales, Oh My!
by Wandering One
Summary: An attempt at humor. Soda's taking an elephant on a walk and spitting on the sidewalk. Pony's laughing his head off and rambling. Darry's praising Pony. What happened to the Curtis family?


Disclaimer: Not mine. -wince-

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Ponyboy was sitting on the couch, reading, when his older brother walked in. "Soda, why are you home so early?"

"No reason, Steve said he would close the shop." Pony nodded, and then caught a look out the front window.

"Soda, why is there an elephant in our yard?" The book he was holding slid from his hands. Soda grinned and left the room, going into Darry's room. He came back out with a length of rope.

"The circus is in town, they asked me to walk their elephant." Pony nodded, accepting this as a reasonable answer.

"Just stay away from downtown, it's illegal to walk an elephant there."

"It is?"

"Yep, learned about it in school today." Pony replied as they walked out onto the front porch. Soda pulled the rope through the elephant's collar.

"Come on Bessie. We're going for a walk."

Pony shook his head. Soda could be mighty silly some times. He followed then out the gate, which Bessie had crushed, and gasped when Soda spit on the sidewalk.

"That's illegal!"

"What spitting?" Soda spat again, just to annoy Pony, but unfortunately the fuzz pulled up next to them.

"Son, where you spitting?"

"Sorry sir. Won't happen again, just had something stuck in my teeth."

The cop looked skeptical, but nodded. "Consider this your warning." He then took off. Soda stared at Pony.

"Damn you were right. What other law have I broken?"

"You may not open a bottle of soda without proper supervision. Whaling is illegal, no molesting an automobile, woman can not gamble nude. Umm"

By now, Soda was the one looking skeptical. "I don't believe you."

Pony shrugged and turned around. "I'm going home. Come back without the elephant or else Darry will throw a fit." Soda laughed, and waved to Pony and continued walking.

Pony shook his head. So what if his brother didn't believe him? All those laws were true. When he got home, he returned to his book, and didn't notice that Darry didn't come home at half past six like always. When he finally finished his book, he realized that it was nearing eight o'clock, no one else was home, and he was hungry. Getting up to make something for dinner, he found leftover blue pasta and chocolate cake.

Placing his meal on the table, he began to eat. When the clock chimed eight it was joined by the sound of car doors slamming. Pony looked up as Darry then Soda came through the door.

"Room, now Soda." Darry said, firmly. Soda slunk past Pony and patted him on the shoulder. Pony looked at Darry and asked, "Do I want to know?"

"He should listen to you more." Darry sighed, cutting himself a piece of chocolate cake.

Pony reeled in surprise, his jaw dropping open and staring at Darry. Darry laughed at his expression.

"He told me the you told him that walking an elephant downtown was illegal, along with spitting on the sidewalk, hunting whales, among other things. So what did he do?"

By now, Pony was grinning as well. "He didn't."

"He did." And with that, Pony broke out into hysterics and fell out of his chair. He didn't even notice Two-bit come in.

"Hey Pony why are you on the floor? Is it comfy down there?" Two-bit dropped to the floor and then frowned and stood. "Nope, not comfy at all."

Pony stood, still grasping his sides. "Want to hear something funny Two-bit?"

Two-bit grinned and jumped onto a chair. "Whoopee! Ol' Ponyboy is gonna tell me a story!" Darry gave him a look, and Two-bit dropped onto the chair.

Shaking his head, Pony continued. "Soda broke two laws today, and got caught. The first law." Here, he started shaking again, "He spit on the sidewalk." Two-bit looked bored, he was waving around a knife, until Darry took it away from him. "And the second." He broke off laughing again, and Darry shook his head and disappeared.

"What? Come kid, don't leave me hanging?"

"I walked an elephant downtown!" Came Soda's voice from the back of the house. Two-bit's mouth dropped open for a minute, then he started howling.

"Would you two stop it? It's not funny!" Soda's voice begged them, and they laughed even harder.

When they had finally calmed down, Darry came out and told Two-bit, that unless he was planning on staying, he needed to leave. Two-bit nodded, and with a smile on his face, walked out the front door. Pony shook his head, then his eyes widened as an idea came to him. He dashed across the room, yanked open the front and shouted out into the night.

"Two-bit don't go whaling!" The only answer he got was the sound of hysterical laughing. Smiling he closed the door for the night.

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A/N: Well, I found this website called Crazy (no space) Laws (period) Com. Omigod! I never knew how many times I've broken the law. –Laughs- And all the laws used in the above fanfic are actual laws…I think. Anyway, I wrote this coughing every two seconds, 'cause I'm sick. Let's see, don't think I'll have chapter four up in for FWtR. I'm leaving in five days! WHEEE! I shall see you all when I get back. Hugs and cookies to all of my reviewers, and readers! Bye everyone. **Chile won't know what hit it when she gets there. –evil grin- Bye everyone.** AKIO!


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